Japan is a safe country. No, that’s not quite right: Japan is an incredibly safe country. Actually, it’s probably the safest country I’ve ever been to. I guess that’s why signs such as the one below are so common. Lacking any bona fide dangers in society, the Japanese have concocted a variety of absurd scenarios which could be potentially “dangerous” or abunai.  If you were an absolute idiot, that is. Take this sign, for instance, which warns passengers that stepping onto the train can be “dangerous” due to a difference in the height of the home platform and the floor of the train car.  Note the elaborate graphics, the arrows crazily pointing every which way. And let us not forget the cute—because everything must be cute in Japan— boy and girl having a conversation about being careful. Touching? Perhaps. Utterly unnecessary and a gross waste of money? Yep.

Why warn people about what is painfully obvious to anyone with a brain and a pair of functioning eyes? Or even one eye, for that matter.  Surely a simple “Watch your step” (in Japanese, of course) would have sufficed. Maybe I’m making too much of this; maybe no one even notices it’s there. Maybe I should just gouge out my eyes so I’ll never have to lay eyes on it again. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Rome lately… Yeah, that probably has something to do with it.  All hail Gaius Julius Caesar!

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