Well, not quite. But just about! I guess there’s something to the old adage about a man and his car, because I’ve fallen head-over-heels in love with my new Yaris. Love at first drive, you might call it. And how could you not become enamored with such a beautiful piece of ass fiberglass? It has everything you could ask for in a car (or partner): looks that could stop a man cold, complemented by a svelte body and perky headlights. Throw in a meteorite metallic tan, an ardent passion for gas sipping (as opposed to the gas guzzling of its SUV brethren), a MSRP of $12,000, enough cargo room to transport a pack of raging hyena, and the Yaris suddenly makes its cousin, the Prius, feel incredibly over-hyped. In fact, I tried to make a move on a 2007 Prius, but was ultimately turned off by its over-engineered body (think Joan Rivers), its obsession with Evian water (think Mariah Carey), and its steep asking price (think Paris Hilton).

After a low-key ceremony at the dealer, the Yaris, Faith (a southern girl with a southern charm, if you know what I mean), and I set out for Arizona. We figured there’s nothing quite like a good old-fashioned American road trip to break in a new car. And we were right! The Yaris handled the 6-day, 2,000-plus mile expedition to Arizona’s surprisingly rugged terrain with aplomb. Not that Arizona did try everything in its power to thwart us wayward explorers, unleashing torrential rains (well, torrential for anyone used to LA weather), hordes of insects including a mutant moth, and an army of mule deer hellbent on testing the limits of my uninsured motorist coverage.