Halloween: West Hollywood Style

This year’s Annual West Hollywood Halloween Festival was sheer pandemonium. There’s really no better way to describe it. According to official estimates, upwards of 400,000 inebriated and costumed revelers descended upon the tiny city of 37,000, which, to its credit, is no stranger to the freaky, fantastic and the fab-u-lous. As one party goer put it, “Honey, it’s Halloween everyday in West Hollywood.” Amen to that!

An event of this magnitude, especially one taking place in the City of Angels, is bound to attract major star power, and this year’s jumpin’ (to use the vernacular) block party was no exception. Few events are capable of luring those jaded celebrities out from their paparazzi-proof caves in the Santa Monica Mountains, but the West Hollywood Halloween Festival is definitely one of them.

Anna Nicole Smith, rising from the grave and looking a bit on the mannish side, was there. I guess death and 500 botox procedures will have that effect on a person. I didn’t have the opportunity to speak with Ms. Nicole-Smith directly, but I did capture a bit of the following interview for your viewing pleasure. You can thank me later.

Beavis, of Beavis and Butthead fame, stopped by, hoping to re-live his glory days as a pop cultural icon; sadly, no one cared. Moving right along….

Michael Myers was there, along with that guy from Reno:911, and some other guy who took the “clothing is optional” idea a bit too literally.

For those of you who prefer your Halloween antics with a bit of a spiritual flavor, West Hollywood has—again, to use the vernacular—“got yo’ back.” Monks, recently spirited away from Myanmar (Burma) to West Hollywood as part of Bush’s secret plan to subvert the ruling dictatorship, were out in full force, gleefully bringing enlightenment and promises of re-incarnation (as Madonna or Diana Ross) to the masses.

Even Jesus of Nazareth, sporting lace-up sandals and vintage chainware by Dulce & Gabanna, made an appearance, although I daresay he is looking a bit Asian these days. But if there can be a white Jesus, and a Black Jesus, then why not an Asian Jesus? This, my friends, is called PROGRESS.

But Jesus wasn’t the only robe-clad vagabond to grace West Hollywood with their presence on this most holy of nights. Former media darling Osama Bin Laden, the man who uses VHS tapes like they’re going out of style, was not content to let J.C. hog all the spotlight. I looked forward to witnessing these two titans of THE ONE GOD go at it, but alas, they both managed to keep their respective cools and remain civil…for now. Besides, that’s what after parties are for.

Buffed and bronzed gym bunnies were present and accounted for…

…as were men of questionable girth.

And then there were the Conservative Christian wackos, one of whom ironically seemed to be going for that whole “militant lesbian” look. While the pictures more than speak for themselves, make sure you also check out the videos. They’re classics.

And there you have it—Halloween in West Hollywood. It doesn’t get much better (or crazier) than that. I’ll leave you with the following picture from what I like to call my “vault of irony.”